Saturday, August 16, 2014

The beach

You are a mountain 
I am a beach
Two different climates 
That don't touch 
Or reach 
Our souls pushing away like 
Magnets 
The awkward sighs the hatred kisses the venom that drips from our mouths like blood thirsty vampires sucking the life out of each other 
But yet I still have hope 
It might be delusion 
Is it insane
To inflict your own pain 
Expecting a different outcome. 

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Boxed up

I've got to stay heavily medicated 
Just to stand you 
I do everything wrong 
Mind abuse
Just to hear an apology 
I'm not the one for you 
My skin is thinning 
Words just keep on clinging 
I'm not allowed 
I can't experience 
This is far from a team 
Colorless shame 
I feel in the way 
I'm aware of this hell. 

Waiting for a touch that will never happen.
A sprout of love ripped out of the seed. 

I can't go back to that place. 
I can't lose myself because of the way you make me feel. 

This weight is heavy. 
I don't know what's best. 
But I know this isn't working.  

I don't know if you mean it. 

I guess I'm too pathetic to love. 

I feel pathetic and unloved. 

My heart is crippled in so many ways. 

This is me giving up. 

No expectations. 

Happiness. 

Monday, August 4, 2014

We all think we're special. 

What if we're all wrong. 

Good Luck

Wish me good luck 
When this world isn't full of love 
But this lust keeps me 
From losing all sanity
Fill my lungs 
Let me breathe 
Stained your mind 
So you'll never forget me 
But my hungry eyes 
Stay hungry for everyone else to see 

The bird

Circumstantial feelings
Words confusing 
I am a bird 
Perched on your ledge 
Shoot me down 
With your BB gun
Shoot me down 
When I make a sound 
My branch tells me I'm different 
My branch breaks with his will
My hope held captive 
My question stays still 
It's all about me 
Broken branches 
Rotted roots 
Heavy leaves 
Feels like I'm in your arms 
Again. 

Solitude

Soul of Solitude 
My heart has clipped dirty wings 
But you still want to press me
Take me out undress me
Try to use words to oppress me 
Cut me open
See the blood 
My strength is so much stronger 
I'm steady staying focused 
Fall is here but I see chaos 
In the fear of letting go 
Of feeling the winters snow
The coldest of being sincere
Life in unexpecting 
Love so often neglecting 
But I believe in one thing 
And that's the destiny to see the future through rain 
To make a name 
To start to change 
Feel alone deranged 
But over coming it all
Finding beauty in the strange 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Hollywood

I can feel her presence in the air
The smell of her perfume
Her fresh washed hair
Lipgloss stains all on your neck
Salty tears down my face
Not the only one wet
Wasted time
Wasted money
Anger I can't control
The closer I get to you
The more I feel alone.

Now I'm left to not feel
Left to turn numb
When all I ever wanted
Was to be the only one.

But I guess I'm not worth it.

You make me feel not worth it.
You make me feel insecure.
You contributed to the deep depression of existence that I love.
hidden by the hope of true love and mixing different drugs.

I'm trying my hardest not to be completely disgusted.
But I'm obsessing.